Butterfingers

[shewhomust]

We had guests to dinner last night. Calling it a dinner party feels like overstating it, just a couple of friends to dinner; yet it's so long since we've entertained at all, that it feels like a real achievement, too.

But in the process of preparing dinner, I managed to break a bowl: the large steep sided pottery bowl, with the incised leaf motif on the outside and the sky-blue glazed interior. Mostly I use it to serve salad, but at this point I was rinsing the rice (before steaming it to accompany the lamb and apricot polo). It simply slipped through my fingers into the sink, and smashed (into one large piece, one medium piece, two small pieces and at least one - and quite possibly more - teeny tiny chip. No real hope of gluing it back together again).

Mostly, I am philosophical about breakages. If I use things I treasure, sooner or later I will break them - I know this. The only way not to break them is to put them away in a safe place and never use them, and where's the fun in that?

But this upset me, more than I would have expected. Partly it's just the loss of the bowl itself (my first thought - no, my second thought, after "Can this be glued together?" - was "Now what do I serve the salad in?" Which was not actually a problem, I have other bowls). This one, though, was passed on to me by my stepmother. It's the bowl my father mixed his green salads in. Salad was one of his specialities, and I learned from him: mix the vinaigrette at the bottom of the bowl, mix in the green leaves and maybe a little something else - spring onions, avocado, some herbs or a sliced tomato or an orange - and I liked using his bowl to do as he taught me. I know, too, where the bowl came from: it was a gift from my sister, who bought it in the local wholefood shop long, long ago when my mother was living in Forest Row (goodness! they are still there!). We talked once about how difficult Tom was to buy presents for, and I encouraged her to buy him a little pottery milk jug - and that was a success, so she went on from there...

Well, on the scale of tragedies, it's a pretty small one. Ceramics break, but memories don't. I was sufficiently shaken, thereafter, to make a total mess of separating an egg, so that instead of the white going into the pastry and the yolk into the filling, half the egg went into each. Worked fine, though.

Despite all this drama, we had a lovely relaxed evening with Ann and Tim, chatting about birds and publishers and books and islands and other matters of general interest. We should do this more often.

Comments

[lil-shepherd.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry about your bowl, because I know exactly how I'd feel if I smashed the green glass fruit bowl that belong to my granny, and that I use for salad. I do agree, though, that you have to use things, and, eventually, they will break.

[shewhomust.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's it exactly. Thank you.

[mevennen.livejournal.com]

I totally understand how it feels, I think. Sid smashed a teapot that I was fond of, and we have also lost some bowls that I'd had since my 20s. You feel stupid about being upset and yet, it really is a much bigger deal than it seems: I cried over the teapot and have remained stony faced over people's deaths, for God's sake. Not a matter of logic, but where it is safe to place the emotions, sometimes.

[shewhomust.livejournal.com]

I cried over the teapot and have remained stony faced over people's deaths...

Yes, that.

[cellio]

I'm sorry about the bowl. You're exactly right, though: you can lock things away and never use them but never benefit from them, or you can use them knowing that sometimes things break when you use them.

Would it bring you any satisfaction to make a similar one for yourself at one of those paint-your-own pottery places? It won't be the same, of course, but it will also be something tied to your family in a way that a bowl you go out and buy to replace this wouldn't be.

[shewhomust.livejournal.com]

That's an intriguing suggestion. Given the limitations of my creative skills, I don't think it'd work, and I'll do better to look out for a replacement whose purchase will give me a different set of good associations. But it got me thinking...

[cellio]

I've made two reasonably complex plates at such places. In both cases I did a detailed layout in pencil (right on the greenware) before painting (they only charged for paint time, not setup time). If freehand drawing is a challenge, remember that you can make graphite tracing paper easily enough.

Mind, I don't know the details of the art in this particular case; if it relies specifically on painting techniques this approach wouldn't help you.

Just a thought -- trying to help, not push. I only tried this once because I had a coupon that made it a very low risk for me.

[shewhomust.livejournal.com]

Yes, thank you - taken as useful information, not pushing. And it does sound like something that might be fun in its own right...

The decoration on this particular bowl was incised rather than painted: leaf and stem shapes cut through a matt black glaze to reveal the terra cotta beneath (and then highlighted in white), so even if I had the skill, steadiness of hand etc, I couldn't hope to reproduce it.

[cellio]

Oh, that sounds lovely!

Also, yeah, not compatible with the paint-your-own places.

[weegoddess.livejournal.com]

Count me in with the 'it's the nature of stuff to break' vote. There's that buddhist (?) practice to see a glass as already broken, since that's what will happen to it eventually. It's a way of practicing detachment, I guess. And I applaud your ability to get it together (you, not the bowl) and move on.

That said, it's understandable that you were shaken. I'm glad that you were able to go on to have a good evening.

[shewhomust.livejournal.com]

Thank you - will you risk me cooking for / breaking tableware for you and J when you're in Durham this autumn?

[weegoddess.livejournal.com]

Oh! That would be lovely! Yesyesyes!!

Do let us know if we can bring anything from the US for you guys...

[shewhomust.livejournal.com]

Great. At the moment we're pretty free that week; would it help you to fix a date, or to leave it fluid until nearer the time?

And thanks for the offer: I'll think about it.

[weegoddess.livejournal.com]

We're happy to consider a date nearer the time; the only dinner plans we're hoping to have is to be invited back to the Castle on Thursday (J's former supervisor is a member of Castle College). We can keep you posted on that, or just focus on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday evenings.

Thus far, I'll be bringing Hershey's chocolate (solid and syrup), Oreos, peanut butter cookies, grape squeezy jam, and graham cracker ready-made pie crusts. These are what have been requested by various friends. Does any of that grab your fancy? I might pack a few boxen of graham crackers as well, so that people can make their own recipes.