Ernie, I'll be happy if it comes up to my chest!

[shewhomust]

We have a milkman who delivers milk to the door, and yes, I know how lucky we are. We used to be even luckier, with a milkman based on a local dairy farm, who delivered daily, and who we could, after a fashion communicate with. All through lockdown I was grateful that here, at least, was something I could rely on.

Even when our milkman, inevitably, retired, he transferred his round to a colleague, so that the first we knew of it was when milk started appearing on our doorsteps in the middle of the night. It became obvious that our new milkman had taken over more deliveries than could be fitted into each day, and eventually he settled into a routine of delivering every other day. In my case, since our order alternates between one and two pints a day, this meant a delivery of three pints on Mondays and Wednesdays, and four on Friday to last through the weekend. The fridge is fuller than is ideal on delivery days, the empties mount up, I have to think ahead about increasing or cancelling the day's order - but it works, mostly. We still have a milkman, and that's a good thing.

On Monday, though, I opened the door to find a crate on the doorstep containing eight pints of milk. This was both a challenge and a mystery.

The neighbourhood WhatsApp group sprang into action, and within 24 hours we had disposed of two pints to someone in need of milk, made room in the fridge to accommodate the remainder, and learned that the milkman had suffered some kind of family crisis. Why eight pints? Who knows. Monday + Wednesday + Friday = 3 + 3 + 4 = !0 pints, but perhaps eight pints represents Monday + Wednesday + Friday - Saturday?

Apparently not, because this morning brought Friday's usual four pints. Plus a bill - well, actually a receipt, but that's just the stationery - for £34.30. Yes, the monthly bill falls due this week, but what does that figure represent? After some cogitation, durham_rambler announced that 343 is seven cubed. Oh, well, that explains everything.

Comments

[cmcmck]

There is still a milk round locally but we just don't get through enough milk to make it viable for us.

[shewhomust]

Most of a pint goes into a big pot of coffee at breakfast. So we get by ...

[cellio]

I wonder if 8 instead of 10 was a supply limitation -- maybe their cows just couldn't pump it out any faster?

[shewhomust]

Except that there were four more pints yesterday, so it seems we had more milk than we were due rather than less...

[hairyears]

ewt and I have three deliveries a week from our local milkman, too.

Useful for the next lockdown, among other things.

[shewhomust]

Useful for the next lockdown, among other things.

I wish I thought you were being unduly pessimistic ...

[asakiyume]

I think I heard a comedy bit like this--possibly also from the UK!--about someone requesting not to be left fresh new little mini-soaps every day during their stay at a hotel. It ended with a hilarious number of little mini-soaps iirc.

What are you going to do about your real-not-a-comedy-sketch situation? I would love to also know how the eight pints and the weird bill came to be, but that probably is too much to hope for.

[shewhomust]

I don't recognise your comedy of the mini-soaps (I'l mot very strong on TV comedy) but it made me think of the Marx Brothers and the hard boiled eggs, and that can't be a bad thing.

One of our uphill neighbours has spoken to the milkman. I think the nearest we are going to get to an explanation is that somebody had a fit of something, but he claims that all is now under control, and he will issue new bills.

So we shall see...