Nonplussed

[shewhomust]

A school friend phoned this morning to ask me - please - if it wasn't already too late - not to buy her a birthday present.

No, it is not too late. Her birthday is a month off, so I might already have organised something for her, but I hadn't: this has not been a great summer for shopping, and at the best of times I don't find her the easiest person to choose gifts for (what can I say? Some people are, and some aren't).

So I ought to be relieved. I don't know why I am so disconcerted.

She was emphatic, though, thaat a card was not only permitted, it was required, and what is more, it should be a card with a number on it (this being a significant birthday). Perversely, this spurred me into something I've been meaning to do for a while, and (with the ais of some things I've posted here) I have ordered a selection of cards (most of them without even a message, let alone a number, but oh, such pretty pictures!). I suspect the internet can provide a card with a number on it, too - but probably not this one.

Comments

[cmcmck]

We have been pondering on whether to bother with Christmas at all this year.

I find it a difficult time of year at the best of times, so........... :o(

[shewhomust]

Yes; we've pretty much accepted that the annual carol evening will not happen - certainly not in person! With that exception, I'm happy to let Christmas go (though durham_rambler will probably demand a roast dinner). But my cohort are passing a major birthday, and all dealing with that as best we can.

[asakiyume]

My mother-in-law does that in a very nice way: she buys cards and then puts them in her date book, so that as birthdays come up, she's got the cards readied. ... Even while thinking it charming, it's something I've never done (I guess because I don't have a date book? Or at least that's part of it.)

Anyway, good for you, buying pretty cards for birthdays! (And I love the Bojo card!)

[shewhomust]

Someone told me of dealing with the effects of a deceased elderly relative: she had kept a box of cards, written and addressed and ordered by date: he had therefore sent out posthumous greetings (enclosed with explanatory notes) until they ran out.

I am not as organised as that - and while I sometimes buy cards with a recioient in mind, I also sometimes buy cards because I would like to receive them. So I feel that I don't deserve your praise (but I lap it up, anyway).

[sovay]

So I ought to be relieved. I don't know why I am so disconcerted.

It would strike me as a weird request, because I don't understand what's behind it. I understand saying things to close friends and family like it's been a lean year, everyone is stressed and no one has resources, please do not wipe yourself out trying to find me a gift. I don't understand preemptively refusing a gift but then insisting on a card.

[shewhomust]

Thanks for confirming that I'm not crazy for finding this odd - though, knowing the person concerned, I don't find it quite as weird as you do! But I think you put your finger on the issue: ot strikes us as a weird request, because there is something behind it which we are missing.

My best guess is that this is some sort of coping mechanism: she's anticipating a bog birthday which won't involve any sort of celebration (a restaurant meal with friends would have been a good bet, and it seems unlikely that will be on the cards in a month's time), and is making a clean sweep.

[sovay]

Thanks for confirming that I'm not crazy for finding this odd - though, knowing the person concerned, I don't find it quite as weird as you do!

You're welcome! I'm glad there is at least a plausible theory to explain it.