The hunting of the alternative arrangements

[shewhomust]

Today's news is that the government has set up a working group to track down that elusive solution to the Irish border problem. I think I know what their methodology will be:

[They] may seek it with thimbles - and seek it with care;
[They] may hunt it with forks and hope;
[They] may threaten its life with a railway-share;
[They] may charm it with smiles and soap -

but none of this will help them if it turns out - as I fear it may - to be a Boojum.

Reading through The Hunting of the Snark in search of that partlicular stanza, I realised that there is very little in it that does not apply to the current situation. For example:

The Bellman himself they all praised to the skies—
Such a carriage, such ease and such grace!
Such solemnity, too! One could see he was wise,
The moment one looked in his face!

He had bought a large map representing the sea,
Without the least vestige of land:
And the crew were much pleased when they found it to be
A map they could all understand.

"What's the good of Mercator's North Poles and Equators,
Tropics, Zones, and Meridian Lines?"
So the Bellman would cry: and the crew would reply
"They are merely conventional signs!

"Other maps are such shapes, with their islands and capes!
But we've got our brave Captain to thank
(So the crew would protest) "that he's bought us the best -
A perfect and absolute blank!"

This was charming, no doubt; but they shortly found out
That the Captain they trusted so well
Had only one notion for crossing the ocean,
And that was to tingle his bell.

He was thoughtful and grave - but the orders he gave
Were enough to bewilder a crew.
When he cried "Steer to starboard, but keep her head larboard!"
What on earth was the helmsman to do?

What, indeed. Full text here.

Comments

[cmcmck]

I begin to wonder if Brussels know damn well this is going to cause a train wreck and are using it as a form of revenge for the UK's idiocy.

If so, it says nothing for them!

[asakiyume]

I loved the bit you quoted (and the context you put it to)!

I'll have to read the whole poem, which I've seen referred to so often but never actually read with attention.

[shewhomust]

Oh yes, if you've never read it, do! I think what I've quoted is pretty representative: if you like that, you'll probably like it all!

[shewhomust]

I really don't think this is the case. I do think that Europe is pretty fed up with us making agreements and then walking away from them (the Good Friday Agreement promises we won't create a hard border; Mrs May agreed a deal which included the backstop over a year ago) when it no longer suits. So they may not be all that keen to bend over backwards to get us out of the hole. But the hole itself is one that we have dug.

At least, that's what I think. What do you think Brussels should be doing, but aren't?

[cmcmck]

I think they should be persuading us not to leave but that's another story. :o(

[larryhammer]

Hee.

[sovay]

"Other maps are such shapes, with their islands and capes!
But we've got our brave Captain to thank
(So the crew would protest) "that he's bought us the best -
A perfect and absolute blank!"

Ouch.

[shewhomust]

Oh, I see. Well, they have consistently said that they don't want us to go ...

[shewhomust]

Ouch.

Exactly.